you're wasting your life, wasting your life

another post about music. apparently music is a big part of my life. well, everyone who's been to my house knows that. this post is about music and memory; how a certain song or album makes you think of a past period in life because either you listened to that album a lot during that time, or something in the lyrics takes you back to a specific situation. i'm sure there are other ways that music evokes memories, but these are the two i've experienced recently.

when i was biking to work one day a few weeks ago, i was listening to the last song i put in ("leif erikson") on my mp3 player, and after that the player restarted from the first album, which happened to be a split album by ben gibbard and andrew kenny. the second i heard ben gibbard's voice in the first song, i was transported back to vancouver, back to walking home to my house in the dark after studying late or just taking late night walks. death cab for cutie had just released "plans" and i was sort of taking a liking to them. the album is a bit uneven, it has a few really good songs, but i still listened to it a lot because it seemed to fit walking home in the dark very well. and gibbard's voice is distinct, unmistakable once you've heard it, coupled with some nifty songwriting skills. and so, without realizing it until now, my brain had made the permanent connection of death cab for cutie <--> walking home at night in vancouver. it's a good memory, thinking about it makes me happy. even if things weren't going well on all fronts then, i still really liked vancouver and living there. and i like to be remembered about it, because it was my everyday life and i don't think about it that often, but very much don't want to forget about it, because it was an important part of my life. it was my life that fall.

second part. another day of biking to work. that was my main way of listening to music this summer, i knew it made i a traffic hazard, but the 20 minute bike ride to work was just too incredibly boring on its own after a week or so. i'd just read the review of the new tv on the radio album and decided to check it out, so it's in my mp3 player and it's good. i tried listening to them in vancouver but didn't quite fall for them, but the new album is good. and it's got this song called staring at the sun that has a line that's "standing in the sea, staring at the sun" that also instantly brought up a memory in my head. it's me in betsy's cabin in minnesota, somewhere north of minneapolis. we went there for a family reunion last august, before i went on to vancouver, and in the evening when most people had left the last bunch of us were playing cards and just talking and doing slightly random stuff. i wasn't really in a people mood that night, so i went down to the lake for a swim, but just ended up standing there staring. it was so beautiful and the water was warm and it was quiet and serene and intense and perfect. i stood there by myself for a long time, just staring, and went back two or three times later that night because i just had to have more of that perfect moment. so in addition to being a really good album, tv on the radio made me remember that. i'm glad i found it.